Week 19: Tasty Pizza (Columbia Heights or Hilltop - you be the judge)

When we embarked on our pizza eating adventure a mere 19 weeks ago, I was ignorant to the number of pizza consuming options that exist here in the Twin Cities metropolitan area.  I’m not exaggerating when I say that there are enough pizza joints in this geography to keep us in a different restaurant every single week for the next three years.  But this blog is about more than just pizza.  It’s about an intentional weekly adventure.  It’s about making sure that, as a married couple, we spend quality time together doing something outside of our normal routine.  And, as an added benefit, it has provided us a connection to our family and friends both near and far, as we’ve relied on our networks to help us fill our pizza eating dance card.

It’s hard to believe we’re over 1/3 of the way through our pizza experiment already.  What started as an idea made in jest has become a weekly tradition – and one that we look forward to all week long.  One of my favorite parts about this pizza experiment is the glimpse inside the lives of our family and friends.  When you recommend a pizza place to us, it’s a little bit like you’re joining us for dinner.

Week 19 took us to Columbia Heights, a first-ring suburb of Minneapolis, which it borders on the south.  Known for its hilly terrain, Columbia Heights features one of the highest points in Hennepin, Ramsey, and Anoka counties at the intersection of 47^th Ave NE and Stinson Boulevard.  The city of Hilltop, population 744, is a small enclave contained within the city of Columbia Heights whose claim to fame is that it is one of only two cities in America that consists primarily of manufactured housing. 

This history and geography lesson is important because Tasty Pizza and Hangar 45, our week 19 destination, may be Hilltop’s other claim to fame.  Or it might just be part of good old Columbia Heights.  Wherever it is, Tasty Pizza was a recommendation from my cousin Jhanel, who was looking for redemption after shaming me into signing up for adult ballet class.  I’m about as graceful and coordinated as a drunk hippopotamus.  But that’s off topic.

Pre-Pizza Moods: It was a dark and stormy night . . . no, wait.  That’s incorrect.  It was a dark and wet late afternoon when we departed for Tasty Pizza, which means that it was after 4:30 PM when we headed out for date night, thus reversing the trend of pizza linner that’s become the norm lately.

We took the scenic route, not because our GPS didn’t work but because we’re as much about the adventure as we are about the food.  While we could have hopped on the highway, we elected to take the Grand Rounds Scenic Byway from Theodore Wirth Parkway to Victory Memorial Parkway, which is a beautiful drive that happened to take us right by the house I grew up in and some of my old childhood haunts.  And you know I like a little nostalgia, so my pre-pizza mood was a solid 7.

My hubby, who probably would have preferred to take the highway so he could show the world what that expensive German automobile can do, was at a pre-pizza mood of 6.

Parking Situation:  Tasty Pizza is located in a nondescript strip mall that may or may not be located in Hilltop.  If you’re in the market for dollar store goods, ethnic groceries, or used video games, this is the mall for you.   It has a large but crowded parking lot, so the parking situation is okay but not ideal.  The parking spots are all at an angle, and I can see that when it gets busy, you could easily get run over here.  We almost did get clipped crossing the parking lot to enter Tasty Pizza.

Exterior Appearance: It’s not much to look at from the outside, but that’s okay.  After almost getting run down by someone in a rush to get to Pooja Grocers, I was more interested in getting to safety than in admiring the outside of Tasty Pizza.

Tasty Pizza was founded in 1963 by Louie Sigorney and Daniel Luleski.  Luleski sold his share of the business shortly after their grand opening in 1963 and Louie took on a new partner, Duane Estrem.  A shrewd businessman, Duane was actually not a pizza lover when he bought into the business.  After tweaking the recipe to his taste, Duane became a pizza convert and his recipe is the one Tasty Pizza uses today. Tasty Pizza is now operated by Duane’s son and daughter in law, Todd and Tawyna.

Entrance/Welcome: Although Tasty Pizza proudly boasts their recent addition and remodel – they added on a sports bar called Hangar 45 – when you walk through the door, it’s like being catapulted back to the 1970’s.  When you enter, you’ll see a sign inviting you to seat yourself.  So we did.  Our first table was too close to a screaming toddler, so we relocated to a second table featuring a faux granite laminate surface and sharp booth springs that assaulted my delicate backside.

Clientele/Overall Vibe: This is a place that draws a local crowd, and while we dined, we noticed a steady stream of takeout customers.  Other patrons appeared to be Minnesota Vikings fans as evidenced by their choice of apparel.  There were families with small children, extended family gatherings, and there was even a birthday party going on a few tables away from us.

Wait Staff:  Have you seen those Gallup studies that cite how something like 70+% of American workers are actively disengaged?  Actively disengaged, by the way, is fancy talk for people who are emotionally disconnected from and/or apathetic about their work.  They are less likely to be productive or enthusiastic, and there is a high likelihood that these actively disengaged workers will piss me off.  Breanna, our server at Tasty Pizza, was a poster child for actively disengaged.   The very act of having to interact with us was clearly distasteful to her, and she was among the least friendly and least helpful pizzeria employee I have met lo these past 19 weeks.

Menu Selection:  Tasty Pizza has a large menu that features sandwiches, pasta, ribs, chicken, and of course, pizza.  You can build your own thin crust or you can opt for a specialty pizza like Taco, Buffalo Chicken, or a Nordeaster (featuring Polish sausage and sauerkraut).  We opted for the “garbage” pizza which is a design-it-yourself featuring up to six toppings.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention Tasty Pizza’s surprisingly vast selection of local and regionally brewed craft beers.  From the outside, you might surmise that this is the kind of joint that features Miller Lite and maybe Budweiser.  And you would be wrong.  They also have interesting craft beers from around the country like Epic Hopulent, Boulder Mojo, and Green Flash Bullet.  I opted for a Saga IPA from St. Paul’s own Summit Brewery and enjoyed every last drop of it because it nicely complements a garbage pizza! 

Food Wait Time: It took about 27 minutes from order to tableside delivery.  I’d like to point out that Breanna did not in fact deliver our pizza to us, as she was probably busy hating her life somewhere.  A much friendlier gal dropped off our pie.

Drumroll, Please . . . the Pizza Itself: While Tasty Pizza may lack in the aesthetics department, you’ll forget all about that booth spring violating your backside as soon as you sink your teeth into their thin crust pizza.  In fact, their pizza was so delicious that I’m starting to develop a hypothesis that states that the more delicious your pizza, the more horrific your restaurant can be.  Must I remind you of Red Savoy’s?  Or Latuff’s? Or even Broadway Pizza? 

Our garbage pizza was loaded with Italian sausage, green peppers, mushrooms, pepperoni, black olives, and jalapeño peppers.  After our recent experiences with onions, we wisely steered clear of them on the menu.  This pizza, cut into delightful squares, had a tangy sauce, an appropriate ratio of sauce to cheese, and fresh toppings.  It was . . . tasty.  Yeah, I said it.  In fact, it was so tasty that it may have edged its way onto the top ten list.

Price & Value:  I didn’t have a coupon, but we licked the platter clean on this pizza.  There was nary a crumb left on the table when we finished.  Our bill came to just over $30 (excluding tip) and I did leave the disengaged and unpleasant Breanna a tip, but I’m not going to lie to you.  Although I am normally a very fair and generous tipper, leaving at least 20% and more when service exceeds my expectations, I only left Breanna 15%.  Because she was that unpleasant. 

Post-Pizza Mood: How could we not be on top of the world after this tasty experience?    We left Tasty at a post pizza mood of 9 for both of us.  It might have been higher had Breanna not tried to kill me with her eyes and if I hadn’t been violated by that booth spring.

Bottom Line: Cousin Jhanel – you have redeemed yourself.  Tasty Pizza is TASTY PIZZA.   But the joke’s on you anyway, since you have to be seen with my clumsy, heffalumping self at ballet class every week and I am clearly bringing shame to the family name in my dancing endeavors. 

If you like Red Savoy, Broadway, or any of the greasy thin crust delicacies around town, you won’t be disappointed by Tasty Pizza.  And – if you happen to be a craft beer connoisseur, you’ll be even more pleased by the very tasty experience that this Hilltop pizzeria has to offer.

Week 18: Joey Nova's Pizza (Tonka Bay)

My Grandma Ginny was the epitome of a spunky, sassy, independent gal.  When life tried to knock her down, she jumped right back up and punched life in the nose.  Or the arm.  Or on the backside.  Although she was barely five feet tall, you did not want to mess with Grandma Ginny – and not just because of her mean right hook.  She survived the Great Depression; raised seven children; traveled to exotic places like Japan because my grandfather had an itch to see the world; but never got her drivers’ license.  

I have so many memories of this amazing lady, but some of my favorites include the time she locked herself out of her townhouse and scaled her deck like Spiderman; her penchant for wrapping Christmas gifts in empty cereal boxes; her giant, adult-cycled tricycle; and her willingness to hop on public transportation to go downtown when she wanted to go shopping.  And who could forget taking Grandma Ginny grocery shopping?

Since she didn’t drive, we often took Grandma grocery shopping, where we would invariably lose her in the aisles.  On one memorable occasion when I managed to keep pace with her at Holiday Foods, I caught her in the cereal aisle giving the hairy eyeball to a box of Raisin Bran.  I vaguely recall a steep rise in the price of boxed cereal around that time – a type of inflation that infuriated Grandma Ginny.  Her response to $4 Raisin Bran?  “I’ll just eat toast for breakfast!” Thus began the great cereal strike of the 1990’s.  (Side note: her refusal to buy $4 cereal impacted her gift wrapping, as she no longer had old Cheerio’s boxes to wrap gifts in.) 

While I often am compared to my Grandma Mary (my dad’s mom), I definitely inherited Grandma Ginny’s frugal nature.  I love a good Groupon (who doesn’t?) and I’m not opposed to using a coupon or two to save a few nickels and dimes.

“Is there a point,” you ask?  I’m getting there.  Our 18^th week of pizza consumption was inspired by a $5 off coupon, spotted by my dad, who knows that I love pizza eating as much as I love saving money.  And that is the story of how we found ourselves at Joey Nova’s Pizza in Tonka Bay on the very same day that our coupon expired.

Pre-Pizza Moods:  Not surprisingly, we were starving due to missed meals throughout the day and at around 4 PM, one of us may have wondered aloud how the dog would taste.  That was the signal to exit the house immediately and head out for pizza.  In spite of our growling tummies, pre-pizza moods were pretty good.  After all, the expensive German automobile was in perfect running order!  We both clocked in at a 7.

Parking Situation & Exterior Appearance: Joey Nova’s Pizza is located in Tonka Bay, a town of just about 1,500 people located between the upper and lower lakes on Lake Minnetonka, a place where the hubby used to spend a lot of his free time.  I’m not built for water sports, so this was my first trip to Tonka Bay. 

Joey Nova’s is located in a nondescript strip mall between a Caribou Coffee and a drycleaners.  There is a large parking lot with ample enough space for even the parking challenged to successfully navigate.  Although I probably couldn’t find Tonka Bay again without the help of Google Maps, I could definitely park at Joey Nova’s if I could find it!

Entrance/Welcome: Joey Nova’s is another counter-service pizza joint.  When you walk in, it’s not abundantly clear what to do or how.  Although we were greeted with a friendly hello, it was hard to figure out what to do.  Should I sit down?  Stand up?  Where’s the menu? 

After standing stupidly for a minute or so, we realized that the menu is up on the wall and that we should place an order at the counter.

Clientele/Vibe: This is obviously a place for the locals, and it is family friendly.  It was quiet at 4-something PM on a Saturday but even so, this place has a friendly, “come as you are” vibe. 

Menu Selection: You can view the entire menu here.  Joey Nova’s specialty is New York-style pizza.  They offer three sizes (medium, large, and extra-large) and boast award-winning fresh dough, whole milk mozzarella, and homemade tomato sauce.  Planning ahead?  You can also order a “take and bake” pizza to go.   You can design your own pie if you’re so inclined or you can opt for one of their specialty pies.  We opted for a large Deluxe which features pepperoni, sausage, mushrooms, onions, diced Roma tomatoes, and fresh basil.

Food Wait Time:  We actually remembered to set the timer this week and total running time from order to pizza at my table was about 30 minutes.

Drumroll, please . . . the Pizza Itself: Maybe it was the prospect of saving $5 on my pizza; maybe it was my reminiscing about Grandma Ginny; maybe I was just good and hungry.  I don’t know what the reason but Joey Nova’s exceeded my expectations.  There was just the right amount of cheese, a zesty yet slightly sweet sauce, and the entire pizza exuded freshness.  The basil and Roma tomatoes were a nice counter balance to the spicy pepperoni and sausage.  My only complaint about this pizza is the onions. 

Before I explain further, I want you to know that I love onions.  I can’t get enough.  But, much like the lost art of grocery-bagging (you don’t even want to get me started on that topic), I fear that the art of onion placement may be going the way of the dinosaur.  For the past several weeks, I’ve noticed my pizzas have featured long, thick onion chunks lounging lazily on the top layer of the pie.  This is not how I want my onions to show up.  Slice it, dice it, and mix those onions in with the rest of the ingredients.  Onion should not be a layer of pizza unto itself, because onion is kind of a showoff, and onion will overpower the other ingredients and make me angry.

In spite of the onion layer, the pizza hit the spot and went well with the glass of Chardonnay I treated myself to.  Hubby stayed true to form with his iced tea.

Price & Value: Even without a coupon, Joey Nova is a great deal.  A large homemade pizza with fresh ingredients for $20 is a bargain no matter how you slice it.  (Pun intended).  With our $5 coupon (thanks, Dad!), our pizza date, including drinks, tax, and tip, was barely over $25.   

Post-Pizza Mood:  Saving money always puts me in a good mood, but so does date night with my beloved.  When I can combine saving money with a glass of wine, a delicious pizza, and quality time with my hubby, I’m pretty much on top of the world.  My post-pizza mood was about a 9. 

My hubby was also in good spirits post-Joey Nova.  Being on Lake Minnetonka brought back memories of his misspent youth, and as we all know, nostalgia often leads to good moods.  The combination of pizza and a walk down memory lane had him at a post-pizza mood of 9 also.

Bottom Line:  I love that my dad recommended this place to me based on a coupon he found in one of those Valu-Pak mailers.  I love that he, in turn, mailed me the coupon.  I love saving money, because it reminds me of Grandma Ginny, who was truly a kick-ass little lady.  And I really did love me some Joey Nova’s pizza.

Would I love it without a coupon?  I don’t know.  It’s kind of a long drive out to Tonka Bay, and I could get an equally delicious pie at Leaning Tower of Pizza or Italian Pie Shoppe without the long commute.  But if you’re in the Lake Minnetonka neighborhood with a hankering for old school New York style pizza and $20 in your pocket, you won’t be disappointed by Joey Nova’s.   

And by the way, I sure do miss my Grandma Ginny.  I always knew she was one of a kind, but writing this put it in a whole new perspective.  I might wrap my Christmas gifts in cereal boxes this year as a way to pay homage to the old gal.   

Updated Pizza Eating Schedule! Suggestions Still Needed!

Week #	Pizza Joint	Recommended by
1	Parkway Pizza - Minneapolis	Princess D
2	Latuff's Pizzeria - Plymouth	Princess D
3	Fat Lorenzo's - Minneapolis	Michele Bordo & April Hurley
4	Red Savoy's - St. Paul	Mir Ali, Amy Stern, & Randy Ross
5	Italian Pie Shoppe & Winery - St. Paul	David Leonhardt
6	Pig Ate My Pizza - Robbinsdale	Kris Rosen & Jennifer Butler
7	Aurelio's Pizza - Roseville	Jennifer  Ehrhardt
8	Punch Neapolitan Pizza - Minneapolis	Jhanel Ebert
9	Leaning Tower of Pizza - Minneapolis	Dede Fitzmaurice, Heidi Martens & Mark Marjala
10	Turtle's Bar & Grille - Shakopee	Kim Motz
11	Pizzeria Lola - Minneapolis	Dave Hamilton
12	Sammy's Pizza - Coon Rapids	Mark Marjala
13	Pizza Luce - Richfield	Jean Nitchals
14	Original Broadway Station (Broadway Pizza) - Minneapolis	Mark Marjala
15	Element Pizza - Minneapolis	Jen Main, Jon Hamlow, and my mom
16	Black Sheep Coal Fired Pizza - Minneapolis	Joe Matheis, Lyndsay Nelson & Kimberly Murrin
17	Cossetta's Eatery & Pizzeria - St. Paul	Charlie Bui
18	Joey Nova's - Tonka Bay	My dad
19	Tasty Pizza - Columbia Heights	Jhanel Ebert
20	Fireside Pizza - Richfield	Mark Heydt, Keith Glasch
21	Carbone's Pizza - Minneapolis	Keith Glasch, Trainer Aaron
22	Lake Harriet Pizza - Minneapolis	Jean Nitchals
23	Jakeeno's Pizza - Minneapolis	Princess D
24	Davanni's - St. Paul	Andrew Craven & Trainer Aaron
25	Galactic Pizza - Minneapolis	Jon Hamlow
26	Psycho Suzi's Motor Lounge & Tiki Garden	Hubby & Jon Hamlow
27	Hello Pizza - Edina	Missy Durant
28	Frankie's Pizza - Chanhassen, MN	Jennifer  Ehrhardt
29	Unhinged Pizza - Waconia, MN	Becca Rausenberger
30	Mozza Mia - Minneapolis	Daniel, Melissa & Victor Muro La Mere & Jeanne Androsoff
31	Pizza Biga (Turtle Bread Co)	Daniel, Melissa & Victor Muro La Mere
32	Green Mill - Plymouth	Jim & Val Usselman
33	A Slice of New York - Minneapolis	Princess D
34	Ronnally's - Woodbury	Jeff Wehling
35	Crescent Moon Pizza - Minneapolis	MSP Mag
36	Old World Pizza - Inver Grove Heights	Jesse Meyer Ruud
37	Roadside Pizza & Wings - St. Paul	MSP Mag
38	Tommy Chicago's Pizzeria - Mendota Heights	MSP Mag
39	Zeke's Unchained Animal - Minneapolis	MSP Mag
40	Chris & Rob's Chicago Taste Authority - Minneapolis	Hubby
41	American Pie Pizzeria - Richfield	City Pages
42	Beek's King of Pizza - Minneapolis	City Pages
43	Fast Eddie's Pizza - Minneapolis	City Pages
44	Galooney's East Coast Pizza Café - Minneapolis	City Pages
45	Godfather's Pizza	Hubby
46	Pizza Ranch - Lakeville, MN	Princess D
47	Topper's Pizza - Minneapolis	City Pages
48	Yianni's Pizza - Minneapolis	City Pages
49
50
51
52

Week 17: Cossetta's Eatery & Pizzeria

Our 17^th week of consecutive pizza consumption coincided nicely with Election Day here in these United States (I point this out just in case you’re reading this from China or some other exotic locale.  One of the cool features of Blogspot is that it provides me with fun facts about my blog.  For example, did you know that Pizza Every Week has been viewed over 1500 times?  Or that it’s been accessed six times from China?  World domination shall be mine!), so a trip to our state’s capitol city of St. Paul seemed like an appropriate way to recognize this important political milestone. 

Although St. Paul is a mere 15 miles from our front door, it took us two trips, two cars, a lot of foul language, a silent novena, and a heck of a lot of antacids to successfully arrive at our dinner location.  Let me explain.  The hubby has a taste for the finer things in life and motors through town in his expensive German automobile – a car that I bought after we bet on whether or not he could quit smoking.  (He did.  And I followed through on my end of the bargain.  His lungs are worth more than any expensive car, German or not.)  Now, if you know me at all, you know that I’m not typically one who is status or label conscious.  I like nice things but I also like money, and I have a hard time reconciling spending the equivalent of the US median household income on something that depreciates the second you drive it off the car lot.  I do recognize that an expensive luxury automobile has a few more bells and whistles than, say, a 2008 Honda Civic Hybrid, but at a price tag upwards of $40,000, I’m going to need more than a fancy stereo, heated seats, and a back-up camera.  At that price, I’d like the car to drive and park itself and maybe throw in the occasional load of laundry. 

But I digress.  The moral of the story is that we are a two-car household.  One of those cars is a battered and abused 2008 Honda Civic with over 100k miles and a lot of parking ramp damage.  The Honda gets a full tank of gas once a week (not the fancy stuff, either); a car wash a couple of times a year or when I can no longer see out the windows, whichever comes first; and maintenance when the dash lights up and scares me into making an appointment.  It’s not fancy, but it does get 35-40 mpg and while I don’t have heated seats, I do have a furry pink steering wheel cover.  (Available at Wal-Marts everywhere.  You know you want one.)  My car isn’t winning any beauty contests or races.  The other car is the hubby’s aforementioned expensive German automobile.  His car gets hand washed on a regular basis; waxed (!); special expensive gasoline; different tires depending on the season; and god forbid you park too close to him.  A sweet elderly man who may have dinged the expensive German automobile in a Chili’s parking lot experienced the hubby’s wrath.  You won’t like him when he’s angry.  The hubby’s car is more expensive than mine, shinier than mine, and it goes a lot faster than mine.  Plus he finds my pink steering wheel cover emasculating, so when we go out, we take his car.

This fateful Saturday was no different.  We piled into the expensive German automobile and headed east.  However, about halfway through our journey, the car’s dash lit up like a pinball machine while the car itself began to shake violently and lost a significant amount of power while we were cruising along at 60+ MPG on the freeway.  Horrified, we made the decision to return home and prayed that the car would make it.  (Okay, maybe I was the only one praying.)   Needless to say, moods were tense.

We got home, sorted out the expensive German automobile (sort of) and because we were still damn hungry, restarted our journey but this time, in the trusty old Honda. 

Pre-Pizza Moods:  Do I need to spell this out for you?  Car problems – especially those involving expensive imported cars – are a sure-fired recipe for a lousy mood.  To say that we were at a pre-pizza mood of about 2.5 is generous, if we are rounding up.

Parking Situation: Moods were not improved when we arrived at Cossetta’s to discover what I can only describe as gridlock, leading into their Munchkin-sized parking lot.  Cossetta’s does offer limited off street parking in their lot, but it’s first-come, first-served, and there was a line of six or seven cars trying to enter as we pulled up.  As Mayors of Crankytown, we lacked the patience required to navigate this and instead, pulled into the large Allina/Children’s Hospital parking ramp across the street.  The ramp is not affiliated with Cossetta’s and therefore, you will pay for your parking spot.  Mine cost $4.

In other news, a person with my limited driving and parking abilities is not fit to navigate either the Cossetta’s parking lot or the Allina ramp across the street.  The only way I can ever eat at Cossetta’s again is if I take public transportation.

Exterior Appearance:  From the outside, Cossetta looks like exactly what it is; a celebration of old world Italian delicacies that has anchored this corner of St. Paul for over 100 years. 

Entrance/Welcome: From the moment you push open the doors, you’ll be swept up in the hustle and bustle of Cossetta’s. While you might be tempted to stand completely still in order to deeply inhale the aroma of authentic Italian herbs and spices, I can’t encourage you to do this, because you’ll create a roadblock.  You’ll be in good company, though, as I noticed a large number of human obstacles in my way as I bumbled into Cossetta’s and tried to figure out what to do, where to go and how to get a meal.  Put another way, it’s not abundantly clear how to proceed once you enter.

Clientele/Vibe: Cossetta’s clientele was a mix of families and a surprising number of tweens and teens.  It’s definitely a “come as you are” kind of place where anything goes. It’s loud, it’s crowded, and there is a buzz in the air.

Wait Staff: This is no sit-down restaurant.  Rather, Cossetta’s is a cross between a mall food court and University Dining Services, who fed me during my years of dorm living.  If you’re not comfortable with a cafeteria tray and plastic eating utensils, this isn’t the place for you.  If you don’t like to wait in line to be fed, you should probably go somewhere else.  Here at Cossetta’s, you’re your own waiter . . . and you will wait, in line.  To be honest, you’ll wait in several separate lines depending on what you decide to eat. 

Menu Selection: No matter what you’re craving, you can probably get it at Cossetta’s.  Salads, pastas, sandwiches, sausage and peppers, soups, desserts, and of course, pizza . . . they have it all.  And probably some more stuff I failed to mention.

Since we’re committed to our vision of eating pizza every week, we got down to business and ordered the house special, which is a 17 inch, four topping pizza.  You can make your own or you can select from their specialty pizza menu.  Pizza is sold by the pie and by the slice.

Food Wait Time:  We placed our order at the counter and then went upstairs with our plastic forks to find a place to sit.  About half an hour later, our pizza was ready and the hubby trotted back downstairs to retrieve it.

Drumroll, please . . . the pizza itself: You can’t beat hand-kneaded dough made from scratch for a nice pizza crust.  The sauce was zippy and the toppings were amazingly fresh.  Our house special featured Cossetta’s own Italian sausage, black olives, green pepper, and onion.  And. It. Was. Huge.

I give Cossetta’s high marks on the freshness of their ingredients, but this wasn’t the best pizza I’ve ever tasted.  They were a bit too liberal with the onions, which were cut into long, thick slices that reminded me of french fries.  They also stuck in my dental work and my throat.  It was a good, solid pizza and if I were going to give the pizza a performance appraisal, I would say it met expectations.

Price & Value: Keeping in mind that I had to shell out $4 to park the car and another $45 to be my own waiter, the prices here are high.  The value is decent – they use a lot of locally sourced and organic products, but that kind of quality doesn’t come cheap.

Post-Pizza Mood: I might not be a gal who needs an expensive German automobile to be happy, but I do like a nice meal that I don’t have to cook or serve myself.  I don’t like eating in the cafeteria at work, where I believe our meals are partially subsidized, and I certainly am not one who wants to get up close and personal with a bunch of friends I haven’t met yet banging into me with their plastic trays while shelling out top dollar to do so.  I left feeling full, but also feeling decidedly “over it”.  My post-pizza mood was about a 4.

My hubby, who interestingly is the more negative of the two of us, also tends to rate his moods higher.  However, he was still feeling pretty anxious about the fate of his expensive German automobile when we departed, so he was hovering around a 3. 

Bottom Line:  Like Fat Lorenzo’s and other iconic pizzerias, this is one of those places that has a nostalgia factor for many people.  And those people hate me a little bit right now because I don’t love Cossetta’s the way they do in their memories.  The only way I’ll be back is if someone else drives and picks up the check. 

Week 16: Black Sheep Coal Fired Pizza (Minneapolis)

Both of my grandmothers were strong, smart, sassy, stubborn broads who lived l-o-n-g lives.   I take this as a sign that I’ll likely live to see nine decades on this planet.  I’m also fairly confident that I’ll develop an affinity for bingo; lose my hearing but refuse to wear a hearing aid; and store my pills in one of those fancy days-of-the-week pill dispensers.  Since I do have a little bit of an old soul, I’m already embracing many of the facets of senior citizenship.  These include but are not limited to the following:

• Bad driving (technically, it’s parking that I struggle with but my hubby claims that my driving reminds him of what it would be like to watch elderly persons doing something x-rated.)
• Memory problems (if I had a nickel for every time I lose my car keys in an average day, I’d never pay for pizza again)
• Early to bed.  There might be stuff going on in the real world after 8:30 PM, but I don’t want any part of it if it doesn’t involve me and my pillow.
• Mean and crotchety demeanor.  Have you met me?  ‘Nuff said.
• Grandma hair.  If you’re not familiar with this concept, allow me to enlighten you.  Grandma hair is the coiffure of choice for those whose natural hair has turned white, gray, or some combination thereof.  Grandma hair also requires the kind of care and maintenance that only a professional beauty parlor can provide.  Neither of my own grandmothers were in possession of a drivers’ license and therefore, required a ride to the beauty parlor on a regular basis.  

Since I recently received my own AARP cards in the mail, I’m embracing my inner elderly person these days.  I mean, who are we kidding? I’m not getting any younger, smarter, or better at driving, right?  Thus, when it came time for my own “routine maintenance” at the beauty parlor recently, I did exactly what my dearly departed Grandma Mary taught me.  I bullied my husband into driving me to the salon for my 1 PM appointment.  (For those keeping track of my parking ramp incidents, my most recent debacle occurred about 90 days ago at the parking ramp near my hair salon and it left me humiliated and my car grossly disfigured.  I cannot in good faith put in yet another insurance claim so I’m stuck looking at a daily reminder of my failures.  I was so traumatized by this incident that I failed to keep up on my grooming!)

“What’s the point, Princess?” I hear you asking.  Well, I’ll tell you.  What gets dropped off at the hair salon (me) must also be retrieved from the hair salon.  And on our 16th consecutive week of pizza consumption, I left the salon with a glossy mane of hair and a grumbling tummy.  Of course, it was only 3 PM, making it too late for lunch and too early for dinner, so we were faced with a conundrum.  What to do?  

I had it on good authority that our week 16 pizza destination, Black Sheep Coal Fired Pizza in Minneapolis’s warehouse district , is a hard place to get a table on a Saturday night.  Since we were starving, lacking a formal reservation but lacking no reservations about a 3 PM pizza date, we made an executive decision to again embrace the senior citizens within and dine early.  Mind you, this is only 30 minutes earlier than last week’s pizza date, continuing the frightening trend toward “pizza for breakfast”.

Pre-Pizza Moods:

Princess D: How can you be in a bad mood when your hair looks this good?  Well, let me tell you . . . you can, but it’s tough.  I was not a perfect 10, in spite of my good hair day, and here’s why.  My hair salon is located in the part of Minneapolis I most loathe driving through; uptown.  It’s a vibrant area with lots and lots of great restaurants, retailers, and of course, hair salons but it is more of a pedestrian zone.  Narrow streets, lack of available parking, and traffic are only part of the reason why I loathe driving here.  In the rare event I find a street wide enough to hold my compact car, it typically has a pothole so deep that I can see all the way to Shanghai.  There are hipster doofuses everywhere, typically jaywalking or lollygagging or something else that is annoying to me in my car because I have to slam on my brakes to avoid crippling them.  Eco-friendly bicyclists zip around me, following the rules of the road when it’s convenient and doing whatever they want the rest of the time.  I really love it when a biker cycles so close to my car that he clips my mirror.  I could go on but I won’t.     See also: mean and crotchety.  Being a passenger in what felt like a cross between a game of Atari Frogger and a game of Pole Position did impact my pre-pizza mood, good hair notwithstanding.  Thus, I clocked in around an 8.5.

Hubby: While he was happy to be getting a pizza out of the deal, his idea of a great Saturday does not, in fact, include playing chauffer to a demanding old lady.  (Who knew?)  Not only did he have to drive my sorry arse around town, he also had to navigate the worst of the worst parts of Minneapolis in his expensive German automobile.  He was a solid 7 pre-pizza.

Parking Situation:  We got no reprieve from the lousy uptown” life and death driving situation” in the warehouse district.  When you go to Black Sheep, prepare to park on the street.  At a meter.  This is a great opportunity to practice your parallel parking skills.  One of my favorite things about parking meters in Minneapolis is the variety.  According to their website, the city operates about 7,000 parking meters, all of which have different time restrictions and rates to keep it interesting.  My favorite thing is when rates and restrictions vary on different sides of the same street, because that’s just super logical and intuitive.   (Note the dripping sarcasm).  One thing I do appreciate, however, is the new electronic parking meters.  Being able to use a credit card is a great convenience, especially for gals like me who don’t carry cash and who can’t remember their ATM PIN numbers to be able to access any cash anyway.

We did find a parking spot about a block away from Black Sheep and hoofed it (pun intended) to our pizzeria.

Exterior Appearance: Black Sheep is located below ground (kind of) in a “blink and you’ll miss it” building in the Warehouse district.  Not much to look at from the outside and I’m ashamed to admit I was unclear on where the door was.  I’d like to say it was poorly marked but I blame myself.  I think I was busy admiring my fabulous hair in a window reflection.  After figuring out where the door was (not as hard as I just made it sound), we opened it and headed in.

Entrance/Welcome: I’m pretty sure our appearance woke up the host, who was probably taking a nap when we arrived.  When you show up at 3 PM, there’s no wait.  However, my hair stylist mentioned to me that she’d tried to eat at Black Sheep four separate times and was never able to secure a table, so I say, better to arrive in the off hours!  After he yawned, stretched, and wiped the sleep out of the corners of his eyes, he gave us a hearty welcome and showed us to a table.  Honestly, figuring out where the door was and navigating the small flight of stairs down into the restaurant were the hardest part of this transaction.

Clientele/Overall Vibe: Well, I was there and my hair looked great, in case I failed to mention that.  Otherwise, it was pretty quiet so I can’t comment on the clientele or vibe except to say that I feel like this is a place that gets busy and is likely full of great people-watching opportunities.

Wait Staff: Our server was pleasant, although surprisingly missing-in-action for most of our meal.  Had I been in a rush to receive my bill or if I required a beverage refill, that would have been problematic.

Menu Selection:  Black Sheep’s menu is as simple as a child’s nursery rhyme.  If you’re not in the mood for pizza, you’re in the wrong darned place.  If you are in the mood for pizza, you’ve got a couple of options.  Black Sheep features 12 and 16 inch pies, some offered without cheese and others without sauce.  You can choose from their pre-planned menu or you order the number one (cheese and sauce) and add toppings from their ala carte menu to design your own pie.  

And if you’ve got a gangsta sized hunger, you might be interested in their signature pizza, the Sicilian.  This is a 16 inch square pie topped with mozzarella, sauce and extra-virgin olive oil.  Black Sheep bakes these pies first thing in the morning before the oven gets too hot and no substitutions are permitted.  

Food Wait Time: We ordered a 16 inch number five, which is a thin crust pizza topped with fennel sausage, hot salami, onion, and cracked green olives.  It arrived hot from the coal-fired oven within about 20 minutes of ordering.  

Drumroll, please . . . the food itself: If you’re asking, “What’s so darned special about coal-fired pizza?”, I can’t help you out.  I’m not sure myself.  That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy my experience at Black Sheep.  Our 16 inch pizza was the perfect size for two hungry pizza lovers, and it was crispy with fresh ingredients and a zesty bite.   Coal-fired crust isn’t all that different than the Neapolitan wood-fired crust in taste, and in a blind taste test, I’m not sure I could tell them apart.  For the record, I’m a fan of both.  

As a devoted Mother Goose fan, our dining experience reminded me more of Jack Sprat and his wife than the black sheep baa-ing with his many bags of wool.  If you remember the old nursery rhyme, Jack Sprat could eat no fat and his wife could eat no lean . . . so they were perfectly matched to go out to dinner together because they could lick the platter clean.  The hubby and I are just like the Sprats, except that our particular idiosyncrasies don’t involve fat and lean but rather, sauce and cheese.  More specifically, I’m a saucy gal who likes a bold, generous helping of sauce on my pizza.  Hubby?  Not so much.  Conversely, my hubby likes a load of cheese whereas I prefer my cheese on the lighter side.  We were able to lick the platter clean but neither one of us was fully satisfied with the sauce and cheese allocations.

Price & Value: We enjoyed a generously sized pizza, iced tea for the hubby, a glass of house white wine for the princess, and a fresh spinach salad.  Because my family is awesome, we also happened to have a $40 gift card.  Our total bill (pre-tip) was $39.50 . . . not a bad deal!

Post-Pizza Mood: We left Black Sheep in good spirits with full bellies, and we still had plenty of evening left over!  Post-pizza moods were around an 8 for all parties involved.  

Bottom Line: Would I make a special trip downtown for this pizza?  No way.  The parking would kille me. But . . . if I’m on my way to Target Field to cheer on the Minnesota Twins; if I’m catching a Wolves  basketball game at Target Center; or if I’m attending a musical, cultural, or sporting event in the area, I would definitely do my pre-gaming at Black Sheep.  But don’t take my word for it.  Check it out for yourself.