Week 20: Fireside Pizza (Richfield, MN)

I traveled almost 1,000 miles for our 20^th consecutive week of pizza consumption.  I’d been away on business for almost a week, completing an important but not particularly pleasant task, and it was one of those weeks where anything that could go wrong did.  Between mainlining Linsinopril (every princess’ choice to treat hypertension) in an effort to thwart certain stress-induced heart failure / stroke; shouting out colorful words and phrases that often included words that rhyme with duck and pucker; and wondering if I’d inadvertently broken a mirror recently, my business trip was hardly uneventful.  It was, however, exhausting.  After white-knuckling it about 20 miles to the airport through rush hour traffic, in the rain, in a rental car best suited to a member of the Golden Girls’, I battled the longest airport security line I’ve ever seen, growing increasingly anxious about missing my flight home. 

Thankfully, the good people at US Airways sensed my anxiety, and after finally making it through security, redressing myself, and jogging through the terminal, I learned that my flight was not only departing from a completely different (translation: much further away) gate, but that it was departing at least an hour late.   I sat in the gate area, sweaty and exhausted, and found that my fellow travelers were even more annoying than normal.  From the guy sitting next to me with the runny nose who clearly needed a Kleenex to the gal a few seats away with the dry, hacking cough who would have benefited from a lozenge to the weird guy who kept staring at me while I grew increasingly antsy, I wanted to bathe myself in Purell and put a bag over my head.  

When I finally boarded, I crammed my bag underneath the seat in front of me, folded myself up like Gumby, and realized I left my iPod shuffle in my hotel room.  Seated to my right was the gal in need of a throat lozenge.  Behind me, an unhappy infant.  And in front of me, a minister and his wife and the world’s most obnoxious drunk guy.  My preflight mood was beyond Mayor of Crankytown.  I was president.  Without my iPod to drown out the sounds of my fellow traveler, I was forced to listen to drunk dude pick a fight about Jesus, religion, and politics with the minister next to him.  At top volume.  The poor pastor was innocently trying to read his Holy Bible when drunk dude decided to tell him exactly where he’d like Jesus Christ to go, citing many examples and using lots of circular and flawed logic.  When the flight attendant served him a Jack Daniels, I cringed.  When I realized the sound of his voice was preventing me from taking a nap, I felt rage.  At one point, I considered breaking the window and leaping to my freedom.  Instead, I sat, seething, and eventually, the plane landed at MSP and I ran to freedom.  Actually, I ran to baggage claim, where I waited an inordinately long time for my damn suitcase and eventually, I was reunited with my hubby and headed home.

After a quick stop at McDonald’s (I was starving) for an artery clogging McMeal, I finally returned home, donned my jammies, and got into my bed, where I remained for the next 19 hours.  Under normal circumstances, my hubby would have forced me from my sleep chamber and demanded pizza, but an out-of-town funeral had him on the road, and we agreed to postpone our pizza date to Sunday night.

Rested but still feeling an underlying sense of doom, we hopped in the car Sunday evening and headed 12 miles south and east to Richfield, MN to dine at Storm’s Fireside Pizza, recommended by two of my friends who are former Minnesotans now dwelling elsewhere in the US.

Pre-Pizza Moods:  The very act of getting dressed and leaving the house was more than I was ready to tackle.  I had this low-grade level of anxiety and gloom and doom that I just couldn’t shake.  My pre-pizza mood was hovering around a 3.

My hubby spends his Sundays watching football and screaming at the TV.  Our pizza date interfered with his ability to watch whatever game was currently capturing his attention, so his pre-pizza mood was about a 5.

Parking Situation & Exterior Appearance: Fireside Pizza is located in Richfield, MN, just minutes from the 494/Penn Ave intersection. Richfield is an inner-ring suburb of Minneapolis-St. Paul, bordered by Minneapolis to the north, Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport to the east, Bloomington to the south, and Edina to the west.  The city boasts seven square miles and 35,000 residents, whose median age is 36.2 years and whose median household income is $45,519.  There are over 40 restaurants in Richfield, ranging from old neighborhood staples like Fireside Pizza to brand new places like our week 13 destination, Pizza Luce. 

Fireside Pizza is located in a small square-shaped building, sandwiched between Penn Auto Care and a gas station.  A small patio with outdoor seating is available in warmer months – photos on their Facebook page make it look very welcoming with umbrellas and patio tables – but in the colder months, the outside of this building isn’t much to look at.

The parking situation is okay.  Fireside Pizza shares their lot with the gas station next door and the parking lot is small, but we had no problem finding a spot.

Entrance/Welcome: Walking into Fireside Pizza is an assault on your senses.  If you're anything like me, you won’t be able to figure out what to look at first.  Your eyes will dart from the giant tree in the middle of the restaurant to the booths with curtains for romance to the sports memorabilia to the giant cardboard cut-out of some dude peddling Dos Equis beer to the many flat screen televisions broadcasting sports.  I did not notice a fire or hearth, but again, I may have been distracted.  You’ll smell garlic, pizza, and cleaning supplies.  You’ll hear the sounds of the kitchen and the din of other diners.  And eventually, your eyes will focus in the dim lighting and someone will greet you and offer to seat you.  Our hostess graciously agreed to seat us someplace where my hubby could watch football.

Clientele/Overall Vibe: Fireside is a place that caters to locals.  They obviously haven’t updated their décor since their grand opening in 1960 and they cater to Richfield residents as well as nostalgic couples who had their first date at Fireside back in the dark ages.  We were the youngest diners on site the night we visited.

Wait Staff: Our server was pleasant, keeping us in beverages and food.  She was definitely more engaged than week 19’s Breanna, but neither the best nor the worst pizzeria server I’ve encountered.

Menu Selection: Fireside Pizza offers a variety of specialty thin crust pizzas, and like any good pizzeria, you can also make your own.  Not in the mood for pizza?  What’s the matter with you?  But in the event that pizza’s not your thing, you can also order pasta, calzones, salad, or sandwiches here as well. Fireside now also offers breakfast, served Saturdays and Sundays from 8 AM – 2 PM with both traditional breakfast items and even a breakfast pizza!

We ordered something called the Pizza Delight, a Fireside favorite that features Italian sausage, fresh green peppers, and mushrooms.

Food Wait Time: Our pizza arrived in less than 30 minutes, piping hot and served, interestingly, on a cardboard placemat – similar to what happens when you pop a frozen Red Baron pizza in the oven at home. 

Drumroll, Please . . . the Pizza Itself: Fireside Pizza claims to have the “best thin and hand-tossed pizza in the Twin Cities”.  I read it on the internet so it must be true.  As previously mentioned, the pizza is served to you on a round cardboard base, all the better to soak up the grease, I guess.  Since thin crust is their claim to fame, my expectations were high.  The crust was thin and crispy, yes – but it had that slight saltine cracker taste that I first encountered at Aurelio’s and then again at Sammy’s.   

The toppings were fresh and plentiful, and the sauce was both tangy and sweet.  The Italian sausage was a little on the salty side - which, coming from the Princess of High Blood Pressure, is saying something.  Washed down with a nice, cold Blue Moon beer (or two), Fireside’s pizza filled my tummy and tasted pretty good. 

Was it the best thin crust pizza I’ve eaten?  Hell no.  But it certainly wasn’t the worst, either.  They are obviously trying to compete with places like Red Savoy, Tasty Pizza, and Latuff’s – all of whom serve a more delicious thin crust than Fireside.  In summary, Fireside served us a relatively decent yet unmemorable pizza served in a weirdly kitschy restaurant with a giant tree in the middle of it. 

Price & Value:  Much like the pizza, the price and value here are okay.  A large pizza, two beers, and iced tea for my hubby cost about $34 plus tip – about average cost for a pizza date night.  Maybe if I had a coupon, I would have felt more favorable about Fireside . . .  I did, however, appreciate the old school, handwritten guest check.  

Post-Pizza Mood: We left Fireside much the way we came.  We were full, we enjoyed each other’s company, but neither of us was ready to take on the world.  Two beers and a belly full of grease managed to help relax me and my post-pizza mood was about a 6.  Fireside gives you delicious peppermint taffy as a parting gift and its fresh and unexpected deliciousness helped improve my mood.  Plus, my hubby hates peppermint so I got both pieces which also helped propel me to a post-pizza 6.

My hubby enjoyed whatever was going on with that football game he was watching over my shoulder and enjoyed his pizza, leaving him at a post-pizza mood of 7.

Bottom Line: If you like Red Savoy, Broadway, Latuff’s, or Tasty Pizza . . . do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.  And do not waste your time visiting Fireside Pizza.  But if you live in Richfield, have a hankering to eat in a curtained booth with a big old tree, or love peppermint taffy – Fireside Pizza is the place for you.  And, if you happen to be looking for work, I noticed that they are now hiring for all positions, so you may want to stop in for an application.