The Princess and the PIZZA!

I am nothing if not an exercise in contradiction.  On the one hand, I am terrified of fulfilling the prophecy that says that married women gain 20+ pounds in the first year of wedded bliss - so terrified, in fact, that I'm logging every morsel that crosses my lips on My Fitness Pal and spending a gross amount of my disposable income on personal training sessions and gym memberships.  (Side note: for the monthly amount I'm spending on personal trainers, I'm confident I could lease a luxury automobile.  Or, at the very least, a pimped out Honda.)  On the other hand, I love to eat.  There is nothing that brings me greater joy than food. Repeat: there is no greater source of joy in my sad little existence than food.  Pretty much any and all food, with a few notable exceptions:

1. Eggs.  I will not eat them, Sam I Am.  Even if they aren't green or served with a side of ham.  I won't eat them in a box, I won't eat them with a fox.  I won't eat eggs here or there - I won't eat them anywhere.  I loathe eggs.  Boiled, basted, poached, scrambled, fried . . . no.  You may call it the "incredible, edible egg" but I call it yucky.  I am so anti-egg, I have been known to spit out partially masticated pancake because (drumroll, please), I could taste the egg.  
2. Sushi.  I remember the good old days, when sushi was something exotic and weird that originated in Japan and hadn't yet been imported to the US of A.  When I had my back turned, sushi then became the food of hipster doofuses and now, it's as mainstream as Starbucks.  Let me tell you something about sushi.  I don't like it.  Before it was hip and trendy, sushi was practical.  It was a means of preserving fish. You may find it to be a culinary treat, and I applaud your choice.  But keep it to yourself.  
3. Salmon.  I'm disappointed to find that I don't like salmon, since I am a big, big fan of the color pink.  A pink fish should be right up my alley.  Not so much.  I'm not sure if it's the flavor I object to or if it reminds me too much of my childhood pet cat, Grey, who lived to the ripe old age of 20+.  Since cats are not known for their excellent oral hygiene, it's not a surprise that Grey's golden years were spent virtually toothless, forcing her to gum her Friskies canned cat chow.  Her favorite?  Salmon.  And this cat got up early in the morning.  There are few things worse than smelling canned salmon cat chow at zero dark thirty in the morning, folks. 

My palate my not be all that sophisticated - after all, I do believe that tater tot hotdish is a delicacy that should be prominently featured on all five-star menus -  (Side note: our very own senator Amy Klobuchar is a fan and her "Taconite Tater Tot Hotdish" won some kind of congressional cook-off.  Who else is with me on this?) but I love most food, including pizza.

Pizza, as it turns out, is a $36 billion business in the US, according to a dubious internet source from New Jersey.  It is also cited as the world's most popular food.  Upon learning this, I had to ask myself, "Am I doing my part as a US and world citizen to support this multi-billion dollar food industry?"  The answer, sadly, is no.  I am failing as a pizza consumer, and I must seek forgiveness from pizza and from the world for my shortcomings.

In order to carry my weight (pun intended) as a pizza consumer and earthling, I am committed to eating pizza every single week for the next year.  Every week, my hubby and I will venture to a new pizza joint, where we will sample the local fare.  If I really get my act together, I'll share periodic updates with you here, in this new blog, aptly titled "52 weeks of pizza".  

If you care about pizza - frankly, if you care about America - you'll help me out.  Let me know your favorite Minneapolis/St. Paul area pizza joint and sometime in the next 52 weeks, we'll dine there.  I may even invite you to join me as my date!  

And, in an effort to maintain my girlish figure (ha!), I'll continue to sweat to the oldies, be abused by ex-Marines who are now employed as personal trainers, and attempt to watch my diet the other six days of the week so I can bring you pizza every week and still fit into my pants.

© 2013 Princess D