It’s hard to believe we’re only ten weeks into our little
pizza journey. Three months ago, when we
sat across from each other at Parkway
Pizza, cheese dripping from our chins, we thought it would be amusing to
eat pizza every single week for a year.
It would give me a creative writing outlet that wouldn’t put our
marriage at risk the way, say, kissing a lot of frogs might. (If that makes no sense to you, read the blog. Which you should do anyway). My hubby is our family photographer and he’d
contribute by snapping all the photos we needed. We’d satisfy our insatiable cravings for
pizza and more importantly, someone else
would be responsible for the cooking.
After ten weeks of pizza consumption, we’ve tested our
initial hypotheses and I’m pleased to report that preliminary results indicate
that we were right all along! What we
didn’t predict, though, is the profoundly positive impact all this pizza has
had on our relationship. (I won’t
discuss the impact all this pizza has had on our cholesterol and waistlines,
however.) It’s awfully easy to fall into
a rut and even when two people are living under the same roof, quality time can
be displaced by routine; by chores; or in my case, by the lure of “Bravolebrities”. Pizza every week gives us something to look
forward to; makes sure we go on a date every Saturday night; and allows us to
experience a new adventure as a couple at least once a week.
Week 10 was not just an adventure, but also a journey. We traipsed 25 miles from home to Shakopee,
MN. If you’re reading this blog from
Serbia, note that the correct pronunciation of the town’s name is SHAH kuh pee, not shah KO pee or shah
ko PEE, no matter what you may have heard from Brenda and Brandon
Walsh. Shakopee is located on the
south bank of the Minnesota River and boasts a population just under 40,000 residents. Shakopee is home of several attractions that
draw visitors to this bedroom community, including:
- Valleyfair – a family amusement park whose single-day passes can run you $40 per person. My general disdain for humankind and propensity for motion sickness means I haven’t voluntarily visited Valleyfair in at least 20 years.
- Canterbury Park – a horse-racing track. Not really my cup of tea either. I’ve never seen a horse race in person. I know a lot of people are really into horse racing, but my innate laziness means I really don’t want to watch any mammal break a sweat or run for its dear life as sport.
- Mystic Lake Casino – nicknamed “Mistake Lake” by those of us who’ve never won a dime in this Native-American casino. When I was much younger, much poorer, and able to stay awake past 9 PM, my fellow service-industry professional pals and I would head to Mystic after closing up our various movie theaters, convenience stores, and restaurants, where we would invariably lose most of our crappy minimum wage earnings.
- Shakopee Women’s Correctional Facility – this is fancy talk for a women’s prison. Constructed in 1986, this prison houses about 600 female offenders.
In spite of the many attractions of the county seat of Scott
County, I’m not sure I’ve visited Shakopee since I hit the legal drinking age,
which is somewhere between 10 and 40 years ago, depending on how old you think
I am and what school of math you follow.
To be honest, I wasn’t even certain where Shakopee was located and
without the wisdom of my hubby and the soothing electronic bossiness of the
disembodied GPS voice, I can’t guarantee I could find Shakopee by car.
My friend Kim, who calls Shakopee home, and who is one of
the kindest, most generous, big-hearted people I know, recommended we visit her
town and partake of pizza at a joint called Turtles, so we gassed up the car
and prepared for a road trip.
Pre-Pizza Moods: My hubby’s pre-pizza mood was hovering around
a 6. He kept saying things like, “We’re
going all the way to Shakopee?! For
pizza? Do you have any idea how far away
that is?” (Clearly, I didn’t have any
idea nor did I really care since he is the designated driver for this
household.) He wanted pizza and he
wanted it now, not in an hour or however long it would take us to get
there.
My pre-pizza mood was pretty good. It had been a gorgeous fall-like day; I’d met
a dear friend for a dog-walk and even snuck in a very relaxing afternoon
nap. Pizza seemed like a great way to
top it all off. I was hovering around an
8.
Parking Situation: First off, Shakopee is kind of a haul – and it’s
an interesting town with a vibe that is part suburb, part small-town. We cruised by the American Legion on our way
to Turtles and noted that they are proudly under new management. I don’t know why that made me burst into fits
of giggles, but it did. As we commuted
to our pizza date, it began to rain and by the time we got close to Turtles, it
was raining enough to require an umbrella, which of course, we did not have in
our possession.
The parking situation was adequate. There is no true parking lot but rather,
street parking up and down 1st Avenue East. We wedged our car between two large pick-up
trucks – which seem to be the preferred vehicle of the Shakopee-ite – about half
a block away and ran through the rain to Turtles.
Exterior
Appearance: Due to the rain, I must
confess I was more focused on keeping my hair dry than admiring the aesthetics
of Turtles exterior. My gut reaction was
that it looked like a typical small-town corner bar . . . and that it was
awfully crowded for 6:30 PM on a Saturday night. I guess the American Legion wasn’t packing in
a crowd yet.
Entrance/Welcome:
Upon entering, you can go left or right and there are bars conveniently located
on both sides. A hostess will greet you
right away. If you choose to eat in the
dining room (which we did), prepare to wait.
We had about a 35 minute wait for a table, so we amused ourselves at the
bar with an adult beverage for me and an iced tea for the mister.
Clientele/Overall
Vibe: I’m not sure I’d name my restaurant after an animal whose most
notable quality is its slow speed. I did
notice a decidedly turtle-like quality to the speed of service. The clientele is definitely a local crowd and
a mix of hard-core drinkers, sports fans, and families. Turtles has 20 large HD TV’s located
throughout their neighborhood bar and grill and all of these are tuned into
sporting events. We sat directly
underneath a TV screen so large (and so loud) that we had a hard time
concentrating on anything else. In fact,
other patrons had to look through our heads to see the football game going on
at our table.
Aside from the glow of the giant TVs, this place has a bit
of a cave-like feel to it. It’s not as
dark as Savoy’s, for example, but I could definitely see this as a hang-out for
south metro vampires.
Wait Staff: Our
server was pleasant, if a bit turtle-like.
She helped us navigate the menu and made some recommendations for us as
first-timers.
Menu Selection: The
menu here is
enormous! Whether you’re craving fried
chicken, pasta, Angus beef, a wrap sandwich, or thin-crust pizza . . . look no
further than Turtles. They have a
selection of specialty pizzas and you can always make your own. According to the menu, their pizza sauce is
homemade and the thin crust is hand tossed.
We ordered something called the “Hey Dude” which features sausage,
pepperoni, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, and green olives. Turtles also has a great drink menu with a
nice beer selection, so I enjoyed a tasty Blue Moon on tap with
my pizza.
Food Wait Time: I
hate to beat the turtle metaphor to death, but we were darned hungry. We drove all the way to Shakopee, waited 35
minutes for a table, and then waited another 40 minutes for our pizza to arrive. At one particularly low point, I considered
chewing on the laminate table.
Drumroll, Please . .
. The Pizza Itself: I couldn’t help
thinking of Red
Savoy’s as we dined at Turtles.
Maybe it was because the pizza was delivered to us on a plastic
cafeteria tray; maybe it was the dim lighting; or maybe it was the homemade
thin crust pizza. Our “Hey Dude” reminded
me of a Red Savoy knock-off. It wasn’t
quite as delicious as Red Savoy – it needed more sauce and the crust was
inconsistent in its crispiness. It was
cheesy, it was greasy, and it was homemade . . . and I had that same feeling of
déjà vu, as if I’d stumbled upon a hole-in-the-wall, meat raffling,
pull-tabbing Northern MN bars.
Price & Value:
Turtles isn’t the cheapest date in town.
Our large “Hey Dude” and my need for adult beverages racked up a $40
bill plus tip. I was full and satisfied
upon leaving, and I seem to recall that we brought some leftovers home, although
once again, they disappeared before I could turn them into a future lunch.
Post-Pizza Mood:
We don’t get to Shakopee often (ok – this was the first trip we’ve made to
Shakopee together, ever) and it was an experience. My post-pizza mood was positively impacted by
a lot of Blue Moon and I left at a solid 9.
My silly antics ensured that my hubby was also in a good mood upon our
return to civilization.
Bottom Line: If
you live in Shakopee – or if you’re visiting a female inmate – I have no doubt
that this is the best pizza in town. I’m
not sure I’d make a special trip to Shakopee just for this pizza, but I will
more than likely meet my friend Kim at Turtles for a drink! In all seriousness, Turtles is a middle of
the road pizza. It’s not the best we’ve
had lo these last 10 weeks, but it certainly isn’t the worst. If you’re a sports fan or a beer fan in Scott
Country, head over, watch the game, and get your pizza on!
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